Laura Leu's Cyber Funhouse

Diane flippin’ Sawyer interviewed me and Adam about...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:04:00 -0500

Diane flippin’ Sawyer interviewed me and Adam about Navigeaters (video above)! And here’s the ABC News article that goes along with it. I really hope this means Ms. Sawyer will consider eating cow dong with us.

If you haven’t started following Navigeaters on Tumblr, now’s your chance! We’d also very much appreciate you recommending us for the food blog category in the Tumblr directory—even if you’ve recommended us before. (They take new votes every week, and we need them to surpass all meme-overloading “Fuck Yeah [FOOD ITEM]” blogs.) Come on, people! Help us pulverize the FuckYeahCilantro blog into a fine guacamole.

We ate this. Go on over to Navigeaters to see how sensitive...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 12:21:42 -0500

We ate this. Go on over to Navigeaters to see how sensitive Adam’s gag reflex is!

I wrote this piece for Details on the sexiest, strangest, and...

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:10:17 -0500

I wrote this piece for Details on the sexiest, strangest, and stickiest sex conventions across America. But if I ever went to a furry convention, I would probably just want to cuddle.

The chain of events that led to the disappearance of my Q key: I...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:34:04 -0500

The chain of events that led to the disappearance of my Q key: I slipped on a magazine, which made me fall into my desk, which made the desk shake, which made everything on it come crashing down onto my computer, which caused my Q key to dislodge and disappear into the nether. I worry how this is going to affect my online Boggle scores.

The thing I love about my super, aside from his backhanded...

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:41:03 -0500

The thing I love about my super, aside from his backhanded compliments, is that his passive-aggressive notes lean more towards the aggressive side. In case you can’t read it, it says:

Notice! The person who is smoking in the public hallway—flicking ashes on the steps and putting out cigarettes on the landing—STOP! You don’t want me to post who you are in public. Crap in your own house. —Tony

This video is one of the culinary adventures from...

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 15:56:31 -0500

This video is one of the culinary adventures from Navigeaters.com, a blog in which Adam and I document our quest to eat a meal from every country in the world without leaving New York City. (4 down, 190 to go!) If you’re on Tumblr, would you do us a solid and follow us and maybe re-blog a post when you like it? Also, would you be a lamb and recommend us for the food category? And then, will you help me move and also tell me if this mole looks funny? OK, now I’m just getting favor-greedy, but really, if you could give Navigeaters some clicks and eyeballs, we’ll be ethernet-ly grateful.

Within two days of each other, and apropos of nothing, I...

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:31:03 -0500

Within two days of each other, and apropos of nothing, I received these items in the mail—the Hot Dog Bubble Gum from my sister, and the Corndog Lip Balm from my friend Dave. Both came with a note saying “This made me think of you.” It brings me immense joy to know that when my friends and family see a hot dog novelty item, I pop into their heads—probably following the thought, “Who the hell would buy this crap?”

Novelty or not, they’ll be a great additions to the Corndog Day Party this year!

At Pig Butchery 101, we also learned how to make a ham. The...

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:51:00 -0500

At Pig Butchery 101, we also learned how to make a ham. The recipe is as follows:

Ingredients:
1 pig ass
1 baseball bat
Seasoning

Directions:
Beat ass with bat until tender. Season and let sit for 20-27 days, and then hang in cool, drafty area of your apartment for 16 weeks. If anyone asks why you have a bloody pig stump hanging from your ceiling, just tell them it’s art noir.

Adam and I went to the Brooklyn Kitchen’s Pig Butchery 101 class...

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:37:00 -0500

Adam and I went to the Brooklyn Kitchen’s Pig Butchery 101 class tonight. The first step was easy: crack open a beer.

My friend Phil is getting married, and in celebration of his...

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 11:10:04 -0500

My friend Phil is getting married, and in celebration of his impending bethrothal, the lovely Rebecca started a blog to display our favorite Phil moments. This one is mine. Christa, Phil’s soon-to-be missus, is one lucky lady.

thisisyourphil:

This video is part of a series of stupid videos Phil and I took in one night, after going to Crazy Legs’ birthday party and then spending half the night on subway platforms because we got on the wrong train. It just goes to show that you can have fun anywhere with this guy. Someone should send him to Darfur to test this theory. —Laura

Please welcome the newest members of the Leu family, Noelle and...

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 11:44:32 -0500

Please welcome the newest members of the Leu family, Noelle and Holly, two tree frogs I found inside my dad and stepmom’s house when I was home for the holidays. (Occasionally, frogs will stow away on outdoor plants that are brought inside at the end of the summer.) I found Noelle sitting under the Christmas tree, and Holly was hiding out in a Poinsettia plant. I believe that classifies them as members of the Amphibia-Yuletidea family, but I’m no scientist. Anyway, before my dad could shoo them outside where they would likely become froggy popsicles, I snatched them up and smuggled them back to NYC with me. I’ll try not to become one of those annoying mommies who’s constantly showing off the cutest thing that her children did, but Noelle eating a cricket? So flippin’ cute.

I’m definitely gonna have to hit up that Sex in the City...

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:22:17 -0500

I’m definitely gonna have to hit up that Sex in the City tour.

Honeybee Coitus: Gangbangs and Snuff Sex

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 10:36:00 -0500

I’m reading Plan Bee: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the Hardest-Working Creatures on the Planet, and I just got to the sexy part:

A virgin queen does all her mating within just a few days during her lifetime, and she hooks up with about a dozen drones in all … A drone attempting to mate with the queen uses his first four legs to grab her back, and then he quickly latches on to her with his last set of legs. In order to expose his reproductive parts, he literally turns his end of his abdomen inside out, and shoves his penis into the queen’s open sting chamber. It doesn’t take long before a tiny explosion takes place, and it’s forceful and loud enough for one to actually hear it. The drone shoots his sperm into the queen, after which time his genitals snap off and stay with the now-mated matriarch. The drone falls to his death, and the queen continues to mate with more drones.

To the huge stack of Verizon phone books in the hallway of my...

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 15:33:57 -0500

To the huge stack of Verizon phone books in the hallway of my apartment building:

“You’re irrelevant” —The Internet

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” — The Environment

Pancake Puffs should be called Pancake Pffffts, since this was...

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 11:27:27 -0500

Pancake Puffs should be called Pancake Pffffts, since this was the deflated result of my first attempt with the as-seen-on-TV product. I would also like to reword their tag line “Just pour, flip and fill” to “Just pour, ‘flip,’ get batter everywhere, swear, flip, fill with the tiny bit of filling you can fit in such a small deformed nugget, and wish you had gotten the Perfect Pancake instead.”

This is the entire “fresh fish” section at a grocery...

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:17:43 -0500

This is the entire “fresh fish” section at a grocery store in Wisconsin: Lutefisk, Herring, de-shelled oysters, and imitation crab meat. Mercury poisoning will not be a concern while I’m here.

The Night Before Santacon By Laura Leu Twas the night before Santacon, when all through Gotham,...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:27:00 -0500

The Night Before Santacon
By Laura Leu

Twas the night before Santacon, when all through Gotham,
People were buying Christmas costumes, even Jews and Muslims.
The Santa suits were hung on their hangers with care,
In hopes they’d attract slutty elves and reindeer.

The friends were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of tequila shots danced in their heads.
And oatmeal in the crockpot, and eggs in the fridge,
I laid down my head to sleep just a smidge.

When near my head, there arose such a beeping,
I hit the snooze button, I wasn’t done sleeping.
At the second alarm, I flew up like a flash,
To preheat the oven for the breakfast hotdish.

The sun shone through the windows, its rays in my kitchen,
It was barely dawn and things were about to get bitchin’!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But my group of friends, in their red suits and beards!

With a thirst in their eyes and flasks in-hand,
I knew in a moment we’d be drunk by 11 A.M.
After breakfast and bloody marys, the first bar stop we came,
And we whistled and shouted and called them by name.

“Now, Jim Beam! Now, Grey Goose! Now, Dewars and Cuervo!
On, Coors Light! On, Miller! On Blue Moon and Michelob!
To the tip of our lips! To the bottom of our liver!
Now down the hatch! Down the hatch! Down the hatch quicker!”

And just as we were all getting our groove,
A jolly ol’ fellow said, “Santa’s on the move!”
And we moved and moved and did it all over again,
By mid-afternoon, we were all three sheets to the wind.

We sprang to the subway, stumbled onto the train,
Some championed on, others went home in pain.
And as we rode out of sight, Santa exclaimed with a warning,
“Happy Santacon to all, rehydrate for a hangover-free morning!”

Girl Power.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 10:42:10 -0500

Girl Power.

Adam and I aren’t the only Christmas crybabies. These kids...

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:02:39 -0500

Adam and I aren’t the only Christmas crybabies. These kids are scared of Santa Claus, too.

This craft room is amateur compared to my mom’s rubber...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:53:12 -0500

This craft room is amateur compared to my mom’s rubber stamp room. Be careful looking at, Lia. You may develop crafting priapism.

lialia:

I just got a crafting boner. OMG.

(via architectureblog)