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About

I'm Laura Leu, a writer living in New York City. I enjoy telling strangers on the Internet my name, occupation and city of residence.

I've written for Women's Health, Maxim, Cosmo, Details, Health, Time Out New York, New York Post, McSweeney's and Salon, among others. In January 2010, my boyfriend Adam and I launched Navigeaters, a blog that documents our quest to eat a meal from every nation in the world without leaving NYC. I also created Self-Petting Zoo, your one-stop shop for masturbating animal videos.

If you're an editor who wants to give me work, you can read some clips below or take a look at my resume. If you're a horny old German man, you can watch this video of me playing my accordion while my friend pole-dances.

You can email me at laura.leu [at] gmail.com, or find me on Facebook, Twitter, Vimeo, or standing right behind you. Psych!

stuff i've written

"I Dream of Weenie: My Life As a Female Competitive Eater," Salon
An essay on achieving my childhood dream to become a professional gorger.

"Abnormal School," Time Out New York
On attending Coney Island Sideshow School.

"Inside the Mind of a Monster," Stuff magazine
A feature profile story on Arthur Shawcross, convicted serial killer and cannibal.

"Love Machine," NY Press
An essay on watching my ex-boyfriend have sex with a robot.

"Conventional Sex," Details
A tour of the nation's sultriest, strangest, and stickiest sex festivals.

"Dating a Dreamboat," Women's Health magazine
An essay on dating a male model.

"Bedroom Briefing," Stuff magazine
A recurring Q&A sex advice column.

"Fear of Clothing in Las Vegas," Stuff magazine
An interview with cover girl Nikki Cox

"TONYPD," Time Out New York
A recurring column, in which I dress like a cop and issue tickets to people for various misbehaviors.

"Pop Vulture," Shock magazine
A parody of weekly celebrity tabloids.

"XXX-posure," Stuff magazine
A first-person narrative on becoming an extra in a porn movie.

"Hot Seat: Richard Simmons," Time Out New York
A Q&A interview with Richard Simmons.

"Why Karma is a Bitch," McSweeneys.net
A McSweeney's list in which I defend the Buddhist doctrine's cattiness.

14 March 09

Joaquin Phoenix, Page Six and Getting Served (Posted 10/15/07)

The three greatest outcomes from the Page Six item about Joaquin Phoenix hanging up on me during a phone interview are:

1) Being outed as a hotdog-eating fish torturer. Although in all honesty, I let that particular fish go because it was too small. I only torture big fish…by viciously attacking them with my teeth, usually after dousing them in wasabi and soy sauce. That is, when I’m not masticating tubular processed pig parts. Oh, the inhumanity!

2) The hate-mail I’ve been getting from rabid Joaquin fans and PETA nutjobs. So far I’ve been called: “a bigoted asshole,” “shitty writer,” “deliberately antagonistic,” “a so-called journalist,”  and “a stupid ugly white trash cunt.” I think I need to update my bio to reflect this.

3) This voicemail from my mom, who knows neither what Page Six nor whom Joaquin/”Jacques” is. But ma’s still got my back.

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Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh